Archive for Everyone Has THOSE Neighbours

Everyone Has THOSE Neighbours

First thing on my mind:

I haven’t written something new in weeks.

Yikes.

Sorry guys.

To be fair, I got a promotion at work so balancing a full-time job, auditions and German lessons has been pretty hectic.

Oh wait, I forgot something.

My husband.

Right.

I guess I need to spend some time with that fella too.

So I apologize for not posting anything in a while!

I have always been a light sleeper. (Thanks Mom and Dad!) I’m one of those people who would be woken up is someone so much as breathed too heavily near me.

So I thought that moving in with Matt was going to be a huge change for me.

Luckily it wasn’t!

But you know what was a huge change?

Crazy neighbours.

I have regaled these stories countless times to my friends and family, so now I must share them with you, friendly internet people.

 

In our old apartment, we were boxed in by crazy, crazy neighbours….

 

The Upstairs Neighbours:

These neighbours LOVED to party.

They loved LOUD music. (Usually something with a stupidly loud bass and that is all you can hear.)

They loved to drink and smoke pot.

How do I know?

I took many a hot box shower because the fumes would find their way down into the vent of our bathroom almost every evening.

They loved to go out onto their deck and drink and smoke pot and talk LOUDLY about how much they liked to drink and smoke pot.

Did I mention that the windows in our old place were single panel and very thin?

It’s fantastic when you’re trying to sleep.

They also liked to use drills (yes, drills.) and hammers around 11pm-12am. They must have had many photos to hang on the wall.

The Neighbours to the left of us. (Sharing a wall with our living room)

These neighbours also liked to hammer things into the wall. Matt and I were waiting for the day when they would hammer a hole right through our living room wall.

Hadn’t anyone heard of Command Strips? They work great for us!

These neighbours were quieter though.

But they stole my orthotics and mouth guard.

Yes, you read that right.

I ordered orthotics and a new night time mouth guard while I was back home earlier this year and my mom shipped them to our place when they were ready.

Problem is, she shipped it to their apartment number and not ours.

I didn’t think it would be an issue. She had the packaged registered to me and I left our neighbours a note telling them that it they received it to bring it over.

You would also think that the mail man would make sure that the person who signed for it would have my name right?

Wrong.

My neighbours signed for it and I tried contacting them for almost two weeks. My last try was on the day that Matt and I moved out of the apartment. I had enough of that place and it seemed like they weren’t going to give me my package.

To this day, I still grind my teeth and have sore knees because orthotics and mouth guards are EXPENSIVE and we still had to pay for those ones even though I never got them.

What are the doing with those anyway?

I shudder to think….

 

But now, onto my least favourite neighbours of all.

 

The Neighbours to the right of us. (Sharing a wall with our bedroom.)

Where do I start…

Ah yes.

One night, I was actually asleep for once.

But I was awakened when I heard what sounded like someone in pain.

I realized it was my neighbour on the other side of the wall!

She sounded like she was being tortured and it grew more intense with each passing moment.

After about half an hour it started to sound like she was going into labour or something. She sounded like she was dying. I was just about to get out of bed and rush over to help her when I heard:

“OH GOD YES!”

She wasn’t in pain.

Or maybe she was.

Who knows.

I turned over in bed a realized that Matt was awake too. (And he sleeps like the dead.)

“I thought a dog was being beaten. I was just about to get up and help it.”

Now this went on for another HOUR then when they were finished, they proceeded to talk loudly about their days at work.

This was also at 3am in the morning.

They kept me up every night.

If it wasn’t them having painful sounding, or porno sounding sex, it was them playing the clarinet and singing Porgy and Bess’s “Summer Time”. (Really badly I must say). Or them arguing. Or them talking about mustard and ketchup. (Yes, they were so loud I could hear what they were talking about. The guy had problems at work with a girl named Tanya. She’s annoying I guess.)

But icing on the cake:

The woman had one of those voices that sounded like she was whining about everything that she said.

I wish I could make a recording of how she sounded.

Or maybe not. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.

Matt said to me one time: “She must be really hot.”

Me: “Why do you say that?”

Him: “Because there is no way in hell I could stand being with someone who sounds like that.”

I started crying because I was laughing so hard at that.

It might sound mean, but we were going crazy with only a couple of hours of sleep every night.

I had to resort to ear plugs, an eye mask, chamomile tea, and breathing exercises to help me sleep.

And guess what??

I’d only be woken up by them doing something loud and obnoxious at 2 am.

Oh! I almost forgot the best thing.

Matt and I would bang on the wall when they were being really loud (usually didn’t help at all).

BUT

One Saturday morning, Matt and I were putting away laundry and talking about what we wanted to do that day at 10am.

AND THEY BANGED ON THE WALL.

AT 10AM ON A SATURDAY.

BECAUSE WE WERE TALKING TO “LOUD”.

I was so tempted to grab my speakers, turn them up loud and play show tunes right against the wall.

So tempted.

I’d probably play “Cats” or something. Yeah. That’s right. Or maybe “Go Go Joseph” on repeat.

But then they would probably come over to our place and complain and I really didn’t want to hear that woman’s voice more than what I already did.

 

So if you have crazy neighbours, I salute you and I know what you are going through.

It is not fun whatsoever and sucks if your building manager doesn’t care if they are loud or not.

 

Why am I writing about this now?

Because of them, my body cannot fall asleep properly and stay asleep.

But I have gone from ono 2 hours of sleep a night to 4 or 5 broken hours!

So that’s an improvement.

Maybe one day I’ll actually get a solid 7 or 8 hours of sleep.

Wouldn’t that be amazing?!

That is probably the wish of every adult ever. (When did I become and adult? Yikes!)

But that is also why I am writing this instead of sleeping. It useless to lie in bed for hours while your brain thinks about every awkward and stressful thing you’ve ever done.

And I haven’t written anything in weeks.

Mostly that.