Now that I’m married, I get asked two questions all the time.
- Does it feel any different to be married?
- How come you got married so young?!
My answer to number one.
It doesn’t feel any different to be married, nor would I want it to!
What Matt and I have is perfect and if the act of us getting married changed anything about us, I would be very, very worried.
My answer to number 2.
It seemed right to us. Every relationship is different and for us, it seemed like the right time to get married.
We didn’t know what my career would bring in the future and we knew we would have some time after I graduated so we decided to do it then before we got too busy.
Maybe I should start at the beginning. (Ohhh noooo not another story about my life!)
When I first met Matt, I knew something about him was different.
Most teenage boys were either immature, rude, or always playing games with every girl they meet.
Matt wasn’t any of those things. (He still isn’t by the way!)
He is a genuinely nice guy. He wants to make people happy and works hard at everything he does. He is mature for his age. He is kind to everyone he meets.
The night before we officially started dating, we were performing at our school’s Christmas fundraiser event. (Matt loves to tell this story because it makes me feel bad for ruining his “big plan”.)
After our set, Matt had this plan to ask me to dance, then ask me to be his girlfriend. (Que. Awwwweeee’s)
So when the time came and he asked me to dance, what did I say?
I was scared to dance with him because I didn’t want to look stupid in front of him!
All his hopes and dreams were crushed.
I am an awful person.
But shortly after that embarrassing conversation, my mom pulled me aside and said we had to go home.
My grandfather was dying.
So the next morning after choir practice, I brought Matt into the hallway and apologized for leaving early last night even though I really did want to dance with him.
Then I started crying. (In his head at that moment: SHE’S CRYING! WHAT DO I DO??????)
I told him that my grandfather was dying and instead of running away, he held me. (Good move Matt.)
Then, while I was sniffing and getting his sweater covered in my tears, I told him that I really liked him and we should date.
He agreed. (Even though I looked liked a blubbering, red faced mess because NO ONE looks good crying.)
I think he was still freaking out in his mind because what are you supposed to do when the girl of your dreams says her grandfather is dying?
“Awe, that’s too bad. Let’s go out for dinner on Saturday.”
Yeah, that wouldn’t work.
Anyway, that’s how our relationship started.
From the very start of it, Matt was supportive of me in everything I did.
I kind of think that is why we have the relationship that we have. It started out with us supporting each other right from the get go, and knowing that we were worth the extra effort.
From then on, we are always honest about our aspirations and dreams.
He wants to become a cook? Great! Let’s get you into the apprenticeship program at SAIT so you can work in a kitchen and go to school with the least amount of student loans.
I want to travel across the country to train in a triple threat college? Great! We’ll both go and he can get a job in a great kitchen to learn more.
Even small things like:
He wants me to go see the new Star Wars movie that he has been waiting forever to see? Great! I will go with him and support him even though I’m not a huge Star Wars fan and thought the relationship between Anikin and Padme was just weird and creepy. (HE’S A PSYCO! WHY CAN’T YOU SEE THAT?)
For us, honesty is how we get through our relationship and working out our problems before they get too big.
It also helps that he somehow still loves me even though I am SO annoying sometimes and I still love him even though when he shrugs his shoulders or says “Meh” is makes me want to bang my head against a wall.
When people ask us why we got married so young, we just smile.
We’ve been together 7 years as of yesterday.
We know the flaws in each other.
We know what each of us want out of life.
We know that things aren’t going to be perfect all the time.
We work through it.
We are worth the work and effort.
We love each other.